I have been currently finding myself in this spot where I feel like there is something always being revealed to me.
Since after my son's birth and finding out he was born with a genetic chronic illness, sickle cell anemia, I have experienced some deep dark moments. I have quite to often felt sad, guilty and angry. For the most part, I have uncovered it and outside no one could really pick up.
Unfortunately, my family has suffered tremendously from it, because not only I lost the desire to live and care for myself but quite too often I have no drive to do the same for anyone.
Scary, I know. But I have decided to come clear and clean on it. I have been on autopilot and doing the minimum to keep things looking good. When in fact it is far from the truth.
Recently, it came to me that I haven't been following my purpose in life and that is my main reason for being feeling so down.
I was chosen for this mission because the Divine thought and knew I could bear it. And knowing what I know, as of now, I am at his disservice by not being truthful to my mission.
Hearing that your child was born with something abnormal is a scary and lonely spot to be. I've been there. And while there... with my inquisitive and need to "know more" personality, I have put myself in the place to learn as much as I could about his disorder. At some point, the knowledge I was getting was a way too much for my own sanity. But I am glad I learn so much about it.
I came to accept that I have the position and tools to help others going through this same road. And this is what I want to do now from on.
Talk to you soon :)