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Thursday, April 27, 2017

Infertility Awareness week.

I don't think, even though we can try to understand, it is possible to feel the pain a couple endure through a diagnosis such as infertility.
We, very often, and maybe more than we can count take things for granted. And I can assure you that I am one of those...
When I was 19 I was diagnosed with PCOS and putted on hormones. Back then my doctor told me that because of my severe case of PCOS I would experience difficulty in getting pregnant, but I wasn't to be discouraged because there were always an option.
I got married at the age of 24, just a few months after Graduating from Law School and while setting our wedding we we're already talking about having children.
Despite never expressing my fears to my partner, I was terrified... And was glad when he suggested and  to start seeing a doctor sooner and before we started trying for sure. On that period I was experiencing many changes and challenges in my life. I had just got married, moved to another country, was away from family and friends for the first time in my life and was out of hormones after 5 years in...
But little I knew that there was a Divine plan for me and that my dream of becoming a mother would come true.
I experienced Cyst on my Ovary through the first 12 weeks of my two first pregnancies. But other than that had very  healthy journey and easy deliveries. And surprisingly was able to nurse my babies a few minutes after they were born with no issues.
Then for medical reasons I experienced the course of IVF for my 3rd child... Through this process, even though I knew my story and reason was different my heart ached to think that many woman go through it over and over and that for them it is the last resource and/or the only one. And after all still there are the ones that can make jokes and put misleading comments or information out there about the babies there are born through conceiving help.
Having to stuff your body with hormones, giving yourself shots for months is a painful and beautiful thing, and it is no joke!!!
So today, for all of you that has gone through it and is going through it, I am proud of you!!!!

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Acceptance

Lately I have been digging deep on this search to find who I am and what is my purpose in life. And I have been amazed by how much information is out there, a lot of it for free, and still I am not the only one struggling in living the every day of life mainly because I feel lost.
If I look for this point of view I would have no "right" to feel depressed or down, because I am living, despite of all, one of my dreams: Being a Mother!
But the strike comes from the fact that even by living our dream, I don't think we are fully prepared to face the full meaning of it.
As of me, for instance, despite becoming a Mama was my biggest dream, I wasn't prepared for motherhood and when it happened and I realized the full meaning of it I couldn't not express my struggle and nonetheless I wasn't​ able to accept it.
We live in a society where everyone is pretending to be experts in everything and is living a perfect life. Then we need to be alike and every single step needs to be compared to what whoever is doing it too.
At some point it feels like if everyone is living in one universe and not we are all part of the same one.
Then I came to understand that when I practice acceptance doesn't mean accepting everything. Means that I understand where something or someone comes from. Means I can be different and everyone can be their own and still we are part of a whole.
I am allowed to struggle, I am allowed to feel sad, I am allowed to feel mad or angry. But the choice is mine whether I want to live it or work it out. And I don't need other approval or appreciation. It needs to come within me and from my heart.
If I cannot make myself content within, no matter what I do to please others it won't count. Because there won't ever be enough and everyone comes with their own bagage of whatever they are made of and I cannot change it. I need to love myself enough to do not be affected by whatever comes my ways.
At the end it is each ones job to be pleased, not mine to please. And when I practice acceptance with myself​ I am able to understand that no matter how much I give or put on to something I cannot do it expecting the other one's positive attitude towards my actions.
Be blessed 😉.

Sunday, April 2, 2017

Getting Fit after 4 years of falling off the wagon

Last week after almost loosing my mind dealing with my son's meltdown I decided it was already overdue for me to get back on track and restart my fitness journey.
It might sound silly and not that important but  I feel like if I am feeling good physically I can be stronger emotionally and have better energy to deal with the daily activities, battles, chaos and beautiful mess of motherhood.
I haven't been in a good place psychologically and emotionally... But I know it can change through physical activity.
For the first time I was able to keep a 5 days workout in a week. It was huge for me and I am aiming to keep the paste.
I like the feeling of my heart rate going high while I am working out. It relax me and makes me feel great!!
I am looking forward to my journey back and cannot wait to get back to  my body of 4 years ago!!!!